A Bio-Chemist's Brain Activity
by MoaningMomoMormon
Summary: My thoughts on Jemma's thoughts. spoilers 1x06 and 1x07 (so far)
1. Courage to Fall

**A/N Just my thoughts on what I think was going through Jemma's head in 1x06, enjoy**

Jemma stood on the edge. Looking out seeing nothing but sky and sea rushing by. She knew she had to do it. She had to jump. If she died on the plane, it wouldn't just be her death, but the death of her closest friends. And she wasn't going to let that happen, she was going to save them, even if she couldn't save herself. She'd knocked Fitz out so that she'd have the chance to do it, for Pete's sake. So why couldn't she? Why couldn't she force herself to take the single step that would ensure the safety of her friends? She jerked as she once again tried to leap to her death. Then she heard it. The banging on glass and the sound of someone shouting her name. Fitz was struggling with the door that she'd locked, just in case he woke up. She saw the desperation on his face as he realized what she was going to do. She saw in that moment that Fitz would have done anything to save her. And seeing him, as distressed as he was, filled Jemma with an eerie feeling of calm. Looking into her best friend's eyes, she was able to find the bit of courage she needed. Not looking away from his face, Jemma stepped backwards, and was soon unaware of anything except the deafening wind and the memory of her best friend's face.


	2. Back to Normal

Back to Normal

**A/N apparently I'm obsessed with Jemma's head, this seems to be turning into a series of fanfics about what Jemma's thinking at various times, we'll see.**

"Don't do anything rash while I'm gone, like jump out of an airplane."

Jemma had to stop herself from flinching at the words. Why would he say that? Why would he bring that up now, yes she'd admit she'd been a bit rash, jumping out of the airplane like she had, but it had been to protect him. To protect the team. He couldn't possibly be mad at her about that? Could he?

"Well, you'll be careful?" She reached for his hand. It wasn't the first time their hand's had touched, but this time it felt different. As if her worries and fears for Fitz had somehow affected the way their skin interacted. Fitz moved his hand away.

"Yeah, I've handled worse."

Worse? If he meant more complicated devices, obviously, but she couldn't imagine him doing anything worse than a secret mission that required a two man team, where she wasn't a part of the team. Or maybe he was talking about when she…

"Oh, I almost forgot, I made you this, your favorite sandwich. Prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella." She pulled out the sandwich and offered it to him. In her mind it was half peace offering, half attempt at returning to normal. She'd surprised him with this sandwich on many occasions, and maybe it would remind him of her when he was out there. Like she could still take care of him, even if she couldn't physically be with him.

"With your home made pesto aioli?" The earnestness in his voice reminded her of how they used to be, the old Fitz… with the old Simmons.

"Just a hint" She let out a soft chuckle. They could do it, she was sure, they could move past this and go back to normal. As soon as he got back from this mission… if he got back…


	3. Bad-girl Shenanigans

Bad-girl Shenanigans

**A/N This one's a bit longer than the others… hope y'all enjoy!**

"How did it go?" Jemma ran up to Sky the moment that Agent Coulson left. From her vantage point following them, it hadn't looked like things had gone particularly well, but Jemma couldn't surprise the hope that was born of desperation.

"Nothing, he's acting like a robot version of himself right now. If we want the truth, we got to get it ourselves."

Jemma briefly wondered how Agent Coulson acted around Sky, because he always seemed a bit stiff to her, but that wasn't important.

"Okay. How would you suggest—" Jemma began when the implications of Sky's words sunk in "Oh wait, no, no." What was Sky thinking they couldn't!

"Yes."

"No! I can't be a part of your bad-girl shenanigans! I like following the rules, and doing what's expected of me. It makes me feel nice." Jemma attempted a smile, how had she become involved in this? Because Fitz was gone, that's how, if she wasn't with Fitz, she had to be with Sky, and Sky well… Sky was Sky…

"Simmons, wake up! Ward and Fitz went on a top-secret, two man operation, and look. There are more men, and either it's a bigger deal and they're not telling us or something went wrong out there. And maybe there's nothing we can do to help, but we got to know if there is. What if they're injured or being tortured somewhere right now?"

Jemma let Sky's words sink in. It couldn't possibly be that dangerous, they wouldn't send Fitz on a mission like that. He hadn't even passed his field assessment, S.H.I.E.L.D knew that. Fitz was fine, perfectly safe, in no danger whatsoever. But there was a nagging doubt she couldn't banish.

"Fitz. Tortured. What exactly do you have in mind?" She'd jumped out of a plane to try and save him before, how bad could breaking a few rules be? Seriously, it wasn't like she was going to hurt anyone…

"Okay, you have the flash drive, go. I programmed it with a decoy crawler. It'll use my browser history to simulate my usual online activity, so while S.H.I.E.L.D thinks I'm trolling Reddit and Facebook with the laptop you gave me—" Sky's voice said in her ear.

"You'll be hacking the files for Ward and Fitz's mission." Jemma finished. She knew the plan, but appreciated Sky going over it again, it made her feel better.

"Right. And remember, once you plug it in, you'll only have about—"

"Three minutes before S.H.I.E.L.D. catches on." Jemma affirmed. It was almost like when she and Fitz were working in the lab, only less technical and more utterly terrifying.

"Do you realize you keep finishing my Sent—?"

"Your sentences, I know, I'm sorry bad habit." Jemma just missed Fitz, the way the bounced of each other, the way he made her feel like she could do anything. Funnily enough thinking of Fitz and that she was doing this for him gave her a surge of confidence, "This is actually a bit thrilling" she found herself smiling, she couldn't wait to tell Fitz about this.

"Ah, good. I'm glad. Now we've just got to figure out a way to get the panel open." Simmons smiled to herself; it seemed that Sky had forgotten who she was working with.

"Don't worry I made a special something. It's what we do." She let out a soft chuckle, engineering might not be her field but after working with Fitz for so long, she could manage something simple like this. She let the machine do its work and smiled as the panel opened up. "All done."

"Really? Wow. Okay. Now just find a USB port."

"Okay." Jemma began examining the panel when she was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Agent Simmons?" Jemma's heart froze, she'd been caught what was she going to do?

"It's fine. Just play it cool." Sky comforted. Jemma stood up, reminded herself why she was doing all of this and plastered on a smile.

"Hello, Mr. Agent Sitwell, sir. May I help you?" Please go away, Jemma thought, please go away!

"Call me Jasper." Jemma thought that was a bit of an odd comment.

"Um, what brings you to this restricted hallway so late at night?" What was she doing, don't ask what he's going, just let him go on his way.

"I could ask you the same thing." Jemma's heart stopped, but she didn't let her smile waver, keep it light, she told herself

"No. Don't." She smiled, sweetly, as if they were sharing some sort of bizarre joke.

"Simmons, focus. Just make up an excuse." Sky reminded her, right of course, she was a genius; she could come up with a reasonable explanation for being there…

"I was just on my way to the loo. I could swear it was two rights and a left, but is that it here?" What was she saying? Simmons had never felt like more of an idiot in her entire life.

"That's a wall panel. Why are you accessing it?" And she'd pointed out the wall panel he's apparently not noticed, maybe she wouldn't be telling Fitz about this particular exploit.

"Don't spiral. Just say something. Anything." Sky reminded her. What would Sky do in this situation? Charm him?

"You certainly have a gorgeous head, don't you?" Agent Sitwell seemed to be responding well to that, "I like men that are about my height, but heavier than me." She smiled, she hoped, flirtatiously.

"Stop talking. Stop." Sky's ordered, and Jemma figured her attempt to charm Agent Sitwell wasn't going well.

"Agent Simmons, do you have authorization to access that panel?" His tone was serious and Jemma froze.

"Say yes, say you do." What would she do without Sky in her ear?

"Oh! Y—of course. Great. Yeah. Of course. Um, I certainly have it right here in my bag." Of course it was a lie, she didn't have it in her bag, what was she going to do? "He's on to me." She whispered to Sky, hoping she'd tell her what to do.

"Stop talking to me! He can hear you!" Jemma couldn't believe she'd made such a rookie mistake…

"Are you on comms with someone?" Agent Sitwell pulled out his communicator, "This is Agent Sitwell. I need an escort." No, she couldn't let that happen, she looked down at her hand, still searching for authorization that wasn't there, but there was something just as useful, if not more so. Jemma pulled out the night-night gun and shot Agent Sitwell in the chest.

"Aah! I'm sorry!" Jemma went to the panel and put the flash drive in the USB port. Then she turned back to Agent Sit well. "Okay okay," She grabbed him by the legs and began to pull him out of the way, "Oof." She made her way back to Sky, "I've shot Agent Sitwell. Good, good, good." She couldn't believe what she'd done, "Was that alright?" Sky did this sort of thing more than her, maybe it hadn't been as bad as it seemed.

"That was terrible. You're terrible at this. That was a total meltdown." It was hard to argue with that…

"The night-night gun was right there, and I—"she let out a gasp, she'd shot a superior officer, how was she ever going to get out of this…

"We need help you, need to go get May." Sky couldn't be serious, May wouldn't understand, May would just stare at her with those emotionless eyes, and let her feel the shame of her actions.

"May?! No!" Jemma couldn't let the _Calvary_ know she'd messed up so monumentally.

"Listen. That flash drive will only give me a few minutes of access to the hub's mainframe to find out what happened to our boys… so just go get May, okay? Just tell her it was an accident." Right. This wasn't about her. It was about Fitz… and Ward… and making sure they were all right. She could do this.

"I'm going to be court-martialed." But it was a sacrifice she was willing to make if it meant saving Fitz… and Ward. Somehow, jumping out of an airplane seemed easier than this…


	4. It was Just Chemistry

It was Just Chemistry

**A/N So, there was not enough FitzSimmons for my taste in the lasts episode, but this scene was beautiful, Enjoy.**

"What are you doing?" Ward whirled on Jemma and she had trouble holding her ground. She'd never seen him like this before.

"Your heart rate's rising." She explained, taking care to keep her voice calm, "Adrenaline's spiking. You need to calm down, not get worked up." It was almost like she'd never met the man standing in front of her, she almost didn't catch the conversation between him and Sky.

"The memory—was it about your brother?" she whispered.

"Drop it." The intensity in his voice was truly terrifying.

"Ward, if you need to get it out, I am here—" Jemma was admiring Sky's courage when Ward… went off…

"Right. To talk." Jemma watched Sky back away and they all stared on in horror as hatred spread across his face, "Because that's what you do—talk… and talk. Don't you ever get tired of hearing your own voice?!"

"Ward, Stop." Jemma almost hadn't noticed Fitz approach Ward. She was surprised Fitz had stepped in; he wasn't one who normally involved himself in moments of confrontation.

Ward shrugged him off violently and was raising his fist as if to strike Fitz when Jemma found herself interjecting, "Well! This makes more sense." She looked down at her tablet, hoping that it had information she could share with the group. She was in luck, "Ward, what you're experiencing, this feeling—It's Chemistry."

"Hope so." Sky interjected, though her tone worried Jemma, Ward did not need to be aggravated.

"Yeah, spikes in his adrenocorticotropic hormone." She explained, attempting a smile, if Ward understood what was happening to him, he might be able to get a handle on it, "It's like those stories you hear when a mother is able to lift a car to save her baby. An adrenaline surge can create a massive—"

"Stop talking! Just fix it!" Apparently Ward was a believer in the idiom that ignorance was bliss.

"I wish I could." She insisted, reminding herself that this wasn't really Ward, something had messed with the chemicals in him, and this man in front of her was the side effect, "We can relieve some of the symptoms. I'm going to give you 10cc of benzodiazepine." She smiled, that should help calm him down.

"Chill pill. Good idea." Jemma could tell that Sky was taking this personally and wished that she wouldn't, it wasn't helping the situation.

"A sedative? Not gonna happen." Jemma blinked in shock, she opened her mouth to respond but someone beat her to the punch.

"Yeah, well, be reasonable. Look how you're behaving." Fitz's head was down, and she could tell that he was afraid.

"And if I'm sedated and we cross paths with those juiced freaks, the ones who flip cars and smash people up, are you gonna take them on?" Jemma could barely comprehend what Ward was talking about; did he think they were going to attack the Bus? But she was proud when Fitz looked him straight in the eye. He didn't say a word, but he didn't back down, "Keep us safe? Or am I gonna have save Simmons… again." Fitz's head dropped down, and Jemma was in shock? Ward thought he'd saved her? Because he jumped out of a plane… well a lot of good that would have done without the anti-serum to which Fitz was instrumental to developing. Without Fitz she wouldn't be standing there, whether Ward had caught her or not.

"That was just a biochemical reaction. He didn't mean all that." She said after Ward had left, more to herself than anyone else, she didn't want to believe that that man was one of her closest friends.

"No, I know." Sky muttered.

"No explanation necessary." Fitz agreed, and Jemma watched him. Fitz didn't believe what Ward had said? He couldn't, he knew… he knew that he was the hero.


End file.
